No one ever wants a movie to fail. I've always wanted a great Fantastic Four movie. There had been 2...well, technically 3 attempts to make a movie based on the character (If you count the Roger Corman unreleased movie). Yet, there was a small part of me that was hoping that this movie would be garbage. Only so that the movie rights could go back to Marvel Studios. There's no guarantee that would happen if the movie tanks, but it's obviously more likely than if it succeeded. So if this movie had been good, i'd have been pleased but somewhat disappointed. In reality, this movie was more of a travesty than i could have possibly imagined. And I couldn't be happier.
I'm not even going to bother with a plot synopsis. Let's get right to it.
The film does not contain any semblance of energy or fun. The tone is so downtrodden and monotonous that you'll swear that no one was awake during production of the film. It's tedious, boring and it just makes you sigh loudly within the first half hour. They have great actors in the film, but none of them are putting in any kind of effort with the notable exception of Michael B. Jordan who is at least trying to bring some excitement to his role. It feels like poor direction was given to the cast.
The story does not inspire any sort of confidence, being full of old, trodden cliches and predictable dialogue. It's watered down, uninspired, straight up boring. No logical development of the characters, no strong villain, nothing. I've only left a theater once in my life (The Last Airbender) but I was packing up to leave before Michael B. Jordan came onscreen. Quite literally. I grabbed my soda and popcorn and was about to ask my friend if he wanted to leave and go see something better.
What makes it even worse is that there are things that could be interesting or fun, but they've been omitted! And the real crime is that they hint at them! It's frustrating! They leave out what could have been the best part of the movie! You'll hear this from a lot of people, but that's because it's true: The film is missing about half an hour. Considering how slow the film starts pacing wise, it doesn't feel possible that it could be longer, but that's symbolic of the worst pacing problem in a movie i've ever seen. It's frustrating.
As you may know by now, the film had some production problems with the director and the studio. I don't know what exactly happened behind the scenes, but it's clear that this movie was not any one person's fault. It does not feel like anyone was in control, and a lot of elements were thrown in that just do not go together. The film is one large mess and it's apparent that no one wanted to clean it up. It was made to meet a deadline. Which it did. But like the student who is rushing to turn in his exam when he's struggling with the multiple choice, it didn't answer the essay questions.
It's awful. And i'm hopeful that it might help get the rights to the characters to Kevin Feige who will give them the movie that they deserve.
F
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