I first heard about Grudge Match in June when I found the article under Kevin Hart's filmography. It sounded amazing! Raging Bull versus Rocky with Kevin Hart and Alan Arkin? Who wouldn't want to see that! When the trailer came out, I was incredibly invested. The upbeat strains of "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore as Stallone and De Niro walk to the ring, the witty banter, the overall tone. This was easily one of my most anticipated movies for the fourth quarter of 2013. Did it live up to the hype? (Sigh) No.
In the 1980s, Kid McDonnen and Razor Sharp are two boxers with an intense rivalry. They have fought each other twice, and they each have one win against one another. But before the tie breaking third fight, Razor unexpectedly retires. 30 years later, they both live in obscurity until fight promoter Dante Slate Jr. offers each of them money to do motion capture for a boxing video game. After a brawl ensues, and the video goes viral, they are both offered one hundred grand for one final Grudge Match.
The premise is solid and plausible. The talent recruited has what it takes to make it worthwhile. So what went wrong?
The screenplay is just terrible. The dialogue has nothing to it. That's a really specific complaint, and it's one that I've never really had to make before. Things that are important to the story are relegated to quick "Oh by the way..."'s in a completely unrealistic fashion and arbitrary speeches are long and drawn out. There are major shifts in time and story that skip over things that could provide something a little more interesting. It's like a game of connect the dots that has numbers missing. The plot ends up resorting to tired old cliches that we've seen literally dozens of times before, and while some of it is original, the movie just feel like a retread of what we've seen before.
There is a certain amount of comedy to be found. I'll admit that I found myself laughing pretty extensively at points throughout the film. Especially at the fun jabs at Rocky and Raging Bull. But it's monstrously uneven and spread. Most of the jokes that fail are simplistic gags, and unfortunately, more geriatric humor. The same issue as Last Vegas. A couple viagra jokes, nursing home humor, and an endless stream of "you're too old to do this." At what point does Hollywood say no more to these cliched punchlines. Old people jokes are getting...well...old.
Sylvester Stallone stars as Henry "Razor" Sharp. While it's certainly more rounded than what Stallone has turned in recently, he does not do too much with his role. He is clearly trying, looking to add some emotion and charm to the role, so I have to give him an "E" for Effort. But when it comes down to it, Stallone is simply pulling his tough guy act again, remaining monotone for a good percentage of the film. That isn't to say he isn't entertaining, Stallone has the talent, but I know he can do better.
Robert De Niro returns to the boxing genre that brought him his first leading role Oscar. He plays Billy "The Kid" McDonnen, a man very passionate about the game. Again, Robert is trying his best, but what we end up getting from him is a performance full of cliches and retreads. De Niro has spent majority of the last decade playing parts in comedies that parody his well known mobster/badass persona from the 70s and 80s. And while there's humor to be found in that, it does get tiresome after a while.
Alan Arkin is Razor's old trainer "Lightning." He is easily one of the better performers in the movie, and while his role is mainly comedy relief, it is something he does well. Most of his roles in recent years consist of this type, thus unlike our two leads, he is doing what he does best rather than act as a parodic clown, and I do not discredit him for his work.
Andrew's Standout for this film was a no-brainer. It is the magnetic, hyperactive, and endlessly entertaining Kevin Hart. Hart is one of the most talented people currently in the entertainment business. In his role as the fight promoter, he plays a fast talking media mogul who tries to smooth his way into making money, and Hart does magnificently in that capacity. He is the perfect person for this role, and most of the genuine humor in the movie comes from him. He is such a budding talent that deserves to be recognized.
I would skip this movie at least while in cinemas. While there is sporadic humor to found throughout, and the talent is trying their hardest, the film does not build much off of it's premise and resorts to old tricks to stay alive.
C
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